Pandering

The posts most viewed involve Planet of the Apes and heatilators. This week, someone got to this blog by searching 'planet of the apes heatilator.' I told myself it was someone who had been fascinated by those, but could not remember the name of the blog, some cyber-Gretl tracing her way back to this font of pontification via the trail of odd crumbs it burps up now and then.

Or maybe not. It did get me to thinking that maybe there is a link. I mean, the apes are clearly into green lifestyle, and I'm betting that if I ever watchy all the films, or better yet delve into the deleted scenes like a true POTA geek would, there would be a heatilator. How could a species so invested in groovy adobe architecture (you just know that beneath the clay skin are the hay bales and bits of dreadlock that will mark back-to-the-earth construction for archaeological progeny of Cornelius) not want a passive, heat-harvesting heatilator? 

Did these apes evolve from hippies? Sure, their repression of humans seems so un-hippie-ish, but time has passed, and evolution can take some unexpected turns. The dogmatic Zeus crowd? I've met the same obstinate preachiness from hippies shocked at my apostatic rejection of the zodiac as bullshit, my dismissal of the Greatful Dead as a mediocre country band. So the hippies grew ever hairier, changed their politics a bit, and became apes. It's not so hard to believe, is it?

And you don't have to take it on faith. If the apes had evolved from right wing humans (which would be deliciously ironic, take that, creationists!), then would their primary instrument of repression be the crudely woven net, clearly a form of macrame? Of course not.

Anyway, only a few light-skinned apes seem bent on burying the truth and keeping humans under an unopposable thumb. The rest are farming, raising horses, picking nits. If you look carefully in the cornfield massacre scene, you see some weed growing at the edges of the fields.